Hi, hello, welcome to the year 2022. What a year it’s been already. I’m writing this on January 3rd and, as of the time I’m writing this, I’ve always watched five movies. Partially because I am snowed in and partially because shit is BLEAK out in the world. Anyway. This is going to be a post of the movies I’m looking forward to in 2022.

As for my New Year’s Resolution? I’m going to try and get better about watching movies on my Watchlist. Apparently, last year I watched 91 movies off that list. Sounds pretty good, right? Well, I added 319…not great.

What Can I Say? I Am a Simple Lesbian

Look. You tell me Dakota Johnson, Kiersey Clemons, and Molly Gordon are going to be in a movie directed by Tig Notaro and her wife, Stephanie Allynne, and that’s all I need to know. I am T H E R E. No further questions and no follow ups. Oh, I guess it would help to say the name of the movie. Am I Ok? Both a question I ask myself on a daily basis when I rewatch the Theo-centric episode of Haunting of Hill House and the name of this movie.

A Hold Over from 2021 Because I Live in a Barren Movie Wasteland

SF Studios (Norway), Memento Distribution (France), TriArt Film (Sweden)

Please, for the love of the father, son, house of Gucci, let me watch The Worst Person in the World. Joachim Trier is the director of this movie and a really great, supernatural coming of age queer movie called Thelma. I just think that I should get a screener of it because I saw Thelma like three times in theatres and that should count for something.

Tell Me Absolutely Nothing

I mean…just look at that picture. Do you need anything more??? If you do, I’ve got nothing to tell you. I haven’t even watched the trailer. I just want to watch Michelle Yeoh act forever. Everything Everywhere All at Once.

On Thin, Thin Ice

I’m so sorry to Film Twitter, but I absolutely hated The Lighthouse. I have only ever wanted to walk out of two movies in my life. One was The Lighthouse. But! I loved The VVitch! So much so that I will continue to spell it with two uppercase Vs as Robert Eggers intended. So, right now, I’m 50/50 on Eggers. However, I am willing to continue to give him a shot with The Northman. Mostly because he has brought Anya Taylor-Joy back and given me the gift of this bonkers looking viking in the trailer, but he is on thin ice.

Once a Pretentious Asshole, Always a Pretentious Asshole

In high school, I was very dedicated to reading classic literature. Mostly because I was obsessed with Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill, and Veronica Mars. All shows that constantly quoted classic books. It was my way of trying to be cool and it turned me into the pretentious asshole I am today. One of my favorite stories was Cyrano de Bergerac. My man Joe Wright, sad period piece director extraordinaire who brought us The Hand Flex™️ is back with a musical adaptation of Cyrano. (Yes, I am pretending The Woman in the Window does not exist as everyone should do.)

For Shits and Gigs

20th Century Studios

I would be lying if I said I was not morbidly curious about Avatar 2. Mostly because it is such a weird phenomenon. The original movie came out in like 2010 (I’m not gonna google it, it doesn’t deserve that, no one cares) and was the highest grossing movie of all time for quite some years. (Again, I’m not factchecking, that movie was trash.) The fascinating thing about this series is that despite its box office numbers, it has left barely an imprint on popular culture. Sure there’s that part of Animal Kingdom based on it, but that’s it. You would think that a movie that performed the way it did would have permeated the mainstream for longer. Anyway, it’s been 12ish years since the first movie and I, for one, am looking forward to seeing how James Cameron could possibly top such immaculate world-building like “unobtanium.”

If You Didn’t Love Robert Pattinson at His Sparkliest, You Don’t Deserve Him Now

Those are the rules and someone should enforce them.

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Happy New Year. I Guess.