Half a year down and I still have not rewatched a single movie! As I’ve said in almost every month’s recap, rewatching movies was a depression coping mechanism for me. Is my mental health better this year because I moved to a new city and am actually socializing? Or is it because I haven’t rewatched a movie? Who can ever be sure?

Also, this is going to be a long list because I went to Tribeca and have been very busy watching movies.

Check out January, February, March, April, and May.

Crimes of the Future

Sue me. I liked the “surgery is the new sex movie.” Whatever. Kristen Stewart’s performance is fantastic. I’d also like to take this moment to personally apologize to Lea Seydoux who I’m sure reads this blog. Lea, I’m sorry I judged you based on Blue is the Warmest Color. You’re so much more than that. Viggo Mortensen, you are the weakest link. Goodbye. Lastly, there was a line in the movie about how Stewart’s character was hot in a “bureaucratic way” and I think I found a concise way of explaining my type.

Official Competition

Sorry, but Penelope Cruz as a pretentious lesbian art house filmmaker checks all of my boxes. It’s a bit meandering at times, but it’s also Penelope Cruz as a pretentious lesbian art house filmmaker. Some men are also there. (I’m kidding. Antonio Banderas and Oscar Martinez are so very good in this.)

Dick

In honor of the 50th anniversary of the Watergate Scandal, I watched the very true, 100% historically accurate Dick. I went to school in the US and my AP U.S. History class absolutely taught me that the Watergate scandal was exposed by two teenage girls. Also, “You suck, Dick! Love, Deep Throat” is too iconic to be ignored for any longer.

Acidman

ICM Partners + Ten to the Six Pictures + 42West

Longtime readers of my writing will know that I have adored Dianna Agron since Glee. What an embarrassing thing to type. Anyway, she’s been in some garbage and I think no casting director really knew what to do with her. Even as a young teen, I knew that moody indie movies was where she would thrive. Finally, I am being proven correct. Between Shiva Baby and Acidman, victory tastes so very sweet. It’s Dianna Agron’s indie era and I’m blessed to be able to see it.

The YouTube Effect

Creative Artists Agency + Tiffical Public Relations

YouTube is terrifying!!!!!!!! I wish I had something more thoughtful to say (and I do in this review), but sometimes it’s easier to just say “YouTube is terrifying!!!!!!!!”

Good Luck to You, Leo Grande

Emma Thompson has had an incredible career and she still somehow manages to outdo herself in this. A sex positive movie that feels like a stage play. It manages to create this sense of intimacy for everyone involved, including the audience.

Casablanca

Yeah, I waited until the year of our lord 2022 to finally watch Casablanca. It’s just…I was afraid that the film wouldn’t live up to these crazy expectations that Gilmore Girls (and the general public) set for me. Last time I watched one of these “great” movies it was The Godfather and that was one of the goofiest movies I’ve ever seen. Or Citizen Kane which is so insanely boring. Anyway, Casablanca is good, but if you think for one second I was rooting for Rick, you are out of your mind. You want me to pick the guy who’s choosing to be apolitical during World War II over the dude who’s risking life and limb to fight the Nazis?? It’s just not realistic.

You Can Live Forever

Prospector Films + The Film Collaborative + Bridge Independent

You ever see Rachel Weisz spit into Rachel McAdams’ mouth in Disobedience and think, wow, I wish there was a better queer movie about processing religious trauma and familial expectations? Well, look no further than You Can Live Forever.

Elvis

My main critique about Elvis is that Baz Luhrmann decided to become a regular film director for the last third of the movie. Sir, I came here because you are so good at going above, beyond, and over the top. Why on earth did you turn it into a boring bio pic for the last thirty minutes, Mr. Luhrmann!

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Best First Watches: June 2022