Slamdance: "Silent Love" Review
Silent Love is a documentary about a family born out of tragedy. Aga has built a life for herself in Germany, a far cry from the small Polish village her brother Miłosz was living in with his recently deceased mother. In order to keep Miłosz from entering the foster system, Aga agrees to become his guardian. She moves back to the small village, but keeps an important secret from Miłosz: Aga has a longtime girlfriend, Majka, in Germany. That secret is pushed to its limits when Majka comes to live with Aga and Miłosz in Poland. Somehow, the three of them must create a new existence together.
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Oftentimes, Silent Love feels too intimate, too invasive. The audience is given a window into the lives of people actively grieving the loss of their mother and trying to learn new roles and meet new expectations. All of this is playing out against the backdrop of Poland’s fight for LGBT equality. As Miłosz is coming of age and having his first crushes, he’s forced to grieve the loss of his main support system. At the same time, his beliefs are being challenged by Majka. He goes to school and church where he’s told time and again that a man’s worth is his strength, but then returns home and talks with Majka about equality. Despite not knowing Majka for a long time, the two form an immediate bond. He opens up to her in a way he might not be able to with his sister.
Perhaps most significantly, Silent Love shows the effort that goes into making a family. Blood does not make a family. Nor does circumstance or force. Instead, it’s effort and attention that build the foundational scaffolding. There must be trust, understanding, and a willingness to learn. Of course, as Miłosz proves, all of these concepts are difficult to manage as a teenager still reeling from the loss of his mother. As Aga proves, it’s also not easy to transition from sibling to caretaker. There must be a give and take among the family members.
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Amidst the scenes of Aga, Miłosz, and Majka are moments when Aga and Majka are alone, enjoying a simple cup of coffee together. To some, those moments may seem inconsequential, but they are the heartbeat of Silent Love. It’s the same with similarly small moments between Aga and Miłosz. A life is built out of sharing coffee, playing soccer, and riding bikes.
It’s difficult to define “family.” When you’re young, you think it’s all about blood relations, but it’s only as you grow older that you learn it’s about who shows up for you. When life is hard and you’re at your lowest, it’s who is standing there to keep you afloat. Silent Love answers those questions with its heart on its sleeve.
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