Reel Abilities NY 2024: “Sexual Healing” - Film Review
Owning one’s sexuality is a lifelong process, and one that is front-of-mind for fifty-three-year-old Evelien in Sexual Healing. Evelien uses a motorized scooter and has cerebral palsy that causes uncontrollable spasms. She relies on an aid worker to help her with daily tasks, including using the bathroom. Evelien has decided that now is the time to explore her sexuality, and Sexual Healing chronicles her journey into the world of sex shops, lingerie stores, and sex care workers.
Sexual Healing is extremely intimate at times, but not entirely because of the subject matter. Evelien is generous with her emotions, her desires, and her fears, and that makes her the perfect subject for a documentary film. She’s funny, wry, and unafraid of being vulnerable. Evelien is opening up in a way that’s difficult for most people to do with their trusted friends and family, let alone in front of a film crew. Even if the viewer isn’t similarly disabled, they can relate to the heart of Evelien’s trepidation in wanting to connect with another human being and dealing with the fear of rejection. Who among us hasn’t worried about whether someone likes us back? Or looked at our reflection in the mirror and wished we could change something about our appearance? Humans are inherently weighed down by insecurities. That’s a fact as plain as day.
Sexual Healing is about intimacy, but that word doesn’t relate only to sex. Intimacy is the human connection we’re all searching for. It’s the ability to be seen and understood by another person, and the freedom to express ourselves without hesitation. Evelien is able to create that closeness between herself and the audience. Creating intimacy is a two-way street. It takes someone who is open enough to expressing themselves and someone who is ready to be active in their listening. Evelien is asking the audience to hear her concerns about intimacy and her desire to be wanted. It’s a type of bravery to vocalize what you want and to seek it out.
Because of director Elsbeth Fraanje’s gentle approach to this introspective story, Sexual Healing works as a piece of filmmaking and also as a conversation starter. It forces the audience to think about the necessity of human touch. Evelien is touched daily by her aide as she goes about her daily tasks, but there’s a difference between this practical contact and one that is driven by something else. A touch that is frivolous in comparison. One that excites, thrills, and brings joy, whose only purpose is to ground oneself within their body. Sexual Healing is a celebration of the humanity that connects us and our deep-seated desire to be wanted in the purest sense of the word.
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