There is no right way to feel grief. That much has already been said with this site’s review of His Three Daughters. That film is not the first, nor the last, to tackle the topic of loss. Enter the Sundance darling A Real Pain. After its premiere in January, the film has been steadily gaining traction as an indie underdog for the big awards. A Real Pain is now making its way to theaters across the country. Only time will tell if that festival magic exists with the public. But as much as A Real Pain wants to be an understated drama, the film’s sincerity never breaks through.

David (Jesse Eisenberg) and Benji (Kieran Culkin) are cousins who call themselves brothers. We’re told the two had a deep connection when they were younger, but then life happened for David. He went to college, got a fancy job, a wife, and a kid, and suddenly had no time for Benji. Where David is anxious and uptight, Benji moves through the world without a care. He’s the life of the party wherever he goes; even on a holocaust-centric tour through Poland. The tour is to celebrate their recently deceased grandmother and learn about their family history.

Over the course of their travels, underlying tensions between David and Benji come to light. The central focus of the film is a collective grieving that every character in the film is taking part in. From the tour guide (Will Sharpe) to the tour participants (all Jewish by birth except one) to the cousins. It is the pain that all of them are working through that inspired them to sign up for this tour in the first place. It’s a valiant message of reflection, but one that barely comes across sincerely. The movie tries so hard to make the audience feel something honestly, the emotions of A Real Pain are awkwardly fake. The banter between the brothers feels fabricated rather than lived in. Perhaps it comes across this way when viewing this film in proximity to His Three Daughters. The dynamic of Eisenberg and Culkin struggles to compete with the naturalism of Elizabeth Olsen, Carrie Coon, and Natasha Lyonne. Characters in both films act out their grief in different ways, but A Real Pain doesn’t earn the tears it’s so desperately fighting for.

This opinion is not of the majority. Many critics believe that the Oscar is all but engraved with Culkin’s name, but this isn’t a contrarian review written simply for the sake of going against the grain. Nothing is gained from that. In the same way grief manifests in different forms, we all find ourselves drawn to a variety of films. Maybe Benji reminds you of someone you once knew, or perhaps you recognize yourself in David. Maybe nothing about these characters is like you, but you still find yourself emotionally connected. Or maybe the film leaves you feeling cold. Regardless, we should be celebrating the pieces of art that stir something within us. Throughout A Real Pain, Benji tells David that he’s changed, that David used to be so emotional and now he’s not. David agrees and asks, but who would want to cry all the time? It’s not about crying every day, but rather allowing ourselves to cry when our bodies cry out for it. We need more sentimentality in this world.

A Real Pain is Eisenberg’s second foray into writing and directing a feature film. It’s also the script that has asked the most of him. David’s a toned down version of the archetype Eisenberg always plays, and Culkin’s Benji is a moderate pivot from his recent role in Succession. The two are the heart of the film and it’s their final scene together that captures what A Real Pain wants its audience to take home with them. Pain is universal, but what we do with it is personal.

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“A Real Pain” - Film Review

“His Three Daughters” - Netflix Film Review