“My Own Normal” - Film Review
Even if you don’t have firsthand experience as a parent, it’s obvious that having a child changes everything. It is fundamentally life-altering for the parents, and even with immense preparation, it can feel overwhelming. My Own Normal is an intimate documentary about navigating parenthood, marriage, career, and life from filmmaker Alexander Freeman. He’s the director and subject of the film, turning his curious eye upon himself and the upheaval he’s experiencing. It’s a rare feat to be able to approach such a personal, tough topic with clarity while experiencing it, and then deciding to turn it into a documentary.
Alexander has severe cerebral palsy. He needs assistance in bathing, eating, dressing, and other daily tasks. He is also now a father to a little girl named Maya. Alexander met his partner, Orina, at a screening of one of his short films. The two had a whirlwind beginning to their relationship, and Orina became pregnant early on. Alexander took to the news with excitement and pride, but some people in his life, like his parents, were worried about what fatherhood would look like for Alexander.
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“It’s hard to say how I’ll be as a father. I guess I’ll just have to wait and find out,” Alexander says at one point in the documentary. No one knows what kind of parent they’ll be until there’s a baby in their arms and they become the caretaker to a small human. Alexander’s fears, while motivated by his cerebral palsy, are also the concerns of likely every first-time parent. Even if Alexander isn’t able to change Maya’s diaper or feed her, he’s able to give her something just as essential - love and attention. He plays with her, cares deeply about her, and obviously loves his role as Maya’s father. There are plenty of non-disabled parents who aren’t giving nearly the amount of compassion that Alexander is giving to Maya. My Own Normal is a love letter from Alexander to his daughter and his partner. There’s no one-size-fits-all in terms of normality, and life is about the give-and-take that goes into creating a world that works best for a person’s needs.
My Own Normal is a work of bravery. Any deeply personal documentary is inherently brave because our society views vulnerability as a weakness. For men especially, showing any sort of doubt, hesitancy, or heartfelt emotion is looked down upon as something that needs to be fixed. Empathy and kindness are at the heart of what can make humanity better. In My Own Normal, Alexander has opened the door to his home, his love life, and his family dynamic in a beautiful attempt to encourage more people to understand a life that doesn’t necessarily look like their own. Or, equally importantly, to show others with cerebral palsy what their life could look like.
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